A couple weeks ago I sat down and interviewed Juli Ann Booker - a Senior Account Executive at Vancouver based real estate investment company, Western Wealth Capital. I have had the privilege of both coaching Juli Ann personally, and doing consulting work within the company as a whole.
To listen to E82 CLICK HERE
In our time together, I got to witness the incredible transformation Juli Ann went through - she changed the way she showed up, the way she led, and the way she moved forward - and man, was it ever beautiful.
What is it about coaching that leads to such transformational results?
I decided to share some insight from my conversation with Juli Ann.
A coach holds space, but also holds you accountable.
A coach is there to meet you where you’re at - you show up as you are, no shame in the game.
They hold space for you - whatever it is that is challenging you at any given moment, it’s all fair game.
BUT…
They are also there to help you move forward, to not get stuck on repeat doing the same thing without getting the results you want.
To move forward, we need to be accountable for our actions - when we slip back into old habits, or make a decision that isn’t aligned with how we decided we wanted to show up (still no shame in the game here, because we WILL do things imperfectly from time to time, we are all human).
And when this happens, a coach is there to remind you of how you want to show up, and to help direct your energy towards moving forward.
In our interview Juli Ann spoke of how this accountability led her to show up more confidently in conversation with her co-workers as a female in a male dominated industry, and how it shifted the company growth exponentially:
“You called me out and you held me accountable.You pushed and pushed, and challenged me to look at things differently. And when I stopped being afraid, it was like this world opened up. And not only was my voice heard, it was accepted, right? And now all of a sudden, it went from this kind of slow growth to this hockey stick effect.”
A coach challenges you to uncover new perspectives.
Perspective is a tricky beast - we know what we know, and what we know that we don’t know (bit of a brain teaser here, so I stay with me) - but then there's this whole world of what we don’t know that we don’t know.
Okay, let me break it down…
So there are things that you are aware that you know - like if someone asked if you know how to tie your shoes, you would know that you know how to do that.
And then, at any given moment there are things that we know that we don’t know - like we know if we don’t know how to change a tire, or check if a watermelon is ripe at the grocery store. The great thing here is that because we know that we don’t know, we can choose whether or not we want to learn, or to change our behaviors, habits, or patterns.
But then there's a whole other layer of things that we don’t even realize that we don’t know - and here is where we can get stuck. Maybe we want to change, but we can’t see the piece that is missing, or where the gap is that needs to be filled.
A coach shows up for you in a way that allows you to uncover what is missing.
And how do they do this you might ask?
Magic 😉….mixed with a pinch of asking the right thought provoking questions.
During our conversation, Juli Ann explained how she felt like there was a wall she couldn’t break through, and how coaching helped her uncover new insights that allowed her to move forward:
“There was a wall - and the hardest part about it was that I couldn't identify what was causing that blockage.
I felt like maybe you could figure out maybe you could identify what was holding me back, and you did. And you did it so quickly.
I think after our first hour together what it really came down to was that I am a pleaser - I just want to keep everyone happy, often at my own expense and that's really not okay
And what we talked about really early on was how I can shift that.
How I don't have to necessarily accept what other people are giving me as far as their energy. And I can use my own to make the change, that I can step in differently.
And that was really where the magic started. It was in our first session together.”
Coaching transforms the way you show up.
I believe so passionately that the world needs stronger leaders - and that stronger leadership begins with us.
But how do we become or create stronger leaders?
By shifting ourselves from the inside out.
Those shifts can be difficult, most likely WILL be difficult (we all have shadow work to do) - that’s where a coach holds you accountable. Even when it's tough, to move forward, to do the hard work, to heal.
Sometimes you won’t know where the shifts need to occur - this is where a coach comes in to help you uncover insight and new perspective within yourself, so that you can let go of belief systems that no longer serve you, so that you can uncover the truth that lies within.
And so coaching allows us to start creating these shifts, which lends itself to the bigger picture...
Even when we think we only need to shift in one area of our life, the reality is the shift needs to occurs in ALL areas, because nothing is separate - we are who we are, we are NOT tiny little pieces of ourselves all compartmentalized to show up at different points of the day or at different times in our life.
But for some reason, we think we need to compartmentalize, may have even learnt strategies around it - this is who I am at work, this is who I am at home, this is who I am with my kids, or my partner, or my friends, or blah, blah, blah.
It’s exhausting.
Here is the real magic though - when we start to shift how we are showing up in one area, that shift shows up in all the other areas as well (I repeat, NOTHING is separate).
When we heal ourselves, it has this beautiful ripple effect.
When we heal ourselves, we become role models for others to do the same - back to my first point, it starts with us.
And at the end of the day, we always have a choice.
A choice in how we show up when things are good.
A choice in how we show up when things aren’t so good.
A choice in whether we allow beliefs that are no longer serving us to run the show.
A choice in how we move forward.
Juli Ann spoke of how she now often takes moments to reflect about how she wants to show up in any given situation:
“It really made me stop and think about every time I stepped into a room, every time I was dealing with somebody that I worked with. And outside of my professional life, into my personal life, to really sit back and say, okay, how do I want to show up here?”
So ask yourself, how do you want to show up?
To listen to E82 CLICK HERE
And thank you to Juli Ann for the incredible conversation.